Hmmm. Let me try to categorize what I think I’ll be, if I am still a bachelor…

Physical
During my single days I was thin. “Buto’t balat”, my father used to say. So thin I could be compared to an electric post. If you ever met me, I can’t blame you not liking me. I won’t even like myself. But mind you, I am a win to girls. Probably not with my body but with my sense of humor. So, if I am still a bachelor today, I would probably still be thin despite of going to gym. Heck, I won’t probably be going there if I have no one to accompany or join me.

Social Activies
During my single days, I am not fond of going out to parties or gatherings. My reason? I have low self-esteem. I am easily conscious on how I look in front of others especially to women. Siyempre buto’t balat nga ako eh di ba? And the other thing is clothes. I don’t have that many cool clothes like the ones you see worn by socialites strolling in glorietta or a mall in makati. So, I rather have a date with myself than mingle. Something like a home-boy. So, if I ever still be single, I will probably still be alone and be a boring guy.

Relationship
Knowing myself as a hopeless romantic when it comes to the heart, I can be sure that I am still be heartbroken single dude eager to meet his special someone. A single dude who’s trying to impress any lady he fall for hoping that she might be the one. A single dude who’s afraid to be alone in the end and felt his self-esteem is as low as the ground he’s standing on.

What I am trying to say here is, when it comes to love or relationship, if I am still a bachelor now, I probably be going to a cinema everyday and watch every movie that is on and sober myself as I, one by one, accept the fact that I got turned down by a girl again who probably have found another guy who’s way better pocket or goodlooking than me.

Hobbies
As I mentioned above, I am a home buddy. I like being at home doing stuff. Yeah, yeah I know. I am that boring. But at least I enjoy being myself. I like to watch movies, tv shows and play games. And on top of these, eat and sleep. I also like strolling the mall. Looking for things that I am fond of such as electronics, gadget and toys that every inner child of a techie guy wants.

Career
Definitely, I will have a job when I am still a single. But the thing is, I will still probably do not know what my career path should be. I would probably still don’t know which field would I be. But definitely, I will probably be with my previous company still doing the same thing again and again. Working and working just to live everyday. Simply put it – no concrete career goals.

Well, that’s everything I think I will be if I didn’t chose the choices that was laid for me before. They say everything has its purpose and every choices you made are meant to be yours and yours alone. You may not know what’s ahead with that choice you picked but that’s the beauty of it – the surprise.

I didn’t regret everything I did before. If given a chance, I will still probably be choosing the same choices as before. Yes, there are times I thought of what will I be if I did it differently. But I know that wherever I am now today is because of the choices I made and it is for my sake and the best for me.

In a relationship, both side should either give or take. Not give and give. Not take and take. This will give each a chance to express his/her love. A colleague shared me someone’s view about relationship – which I think, personally, true.

What a girl needs most is love. What a guy needs most is respect. The most important thing for a girl is her heart. For a guy it’s his ego.

Give your man his own time and space. Let him have his time for his friends, sports, family, self, and God. The relationship will grow old quickly if lagi kayong magkasama. Give him time to miss you and you’ll see how he will love you more. If the guy naman is obsessed and just wants to be with you all the time, tell him you can’t respect a “puppy” for long.

Do things differently anytime. Para kahit matagal na kayo, there is always something fresh and new. Variety is the spice of life. Exciting kumbaga?

Discover something you both like to do and enjoy it TWOgether. Doon naman sa mga bagay na magkaiba ang hilig nyo, compliment each other by learning about it kahit konti. If you love someone, yung effort nyo to try will go a looooong way to understanding him later pag may disagreement kayo.

Pray with holding hands. Sounds corny noh? Maybe, but its very powerful. Pag may takot sa Diyos ang boyfriend mo, kampante ka na di ka nya lolokohin, because he knows God sees everything he does in secret. Ikaw na ang magkusa that before you part after a date, with hold hands and eyes closed, pray to God to bless you two. Believe me it’s effective.

Kailanman, di corny ang magdasal.

Believe in “Magic”. Kahit di minsan practical o walang logical na dahilan, o matrabaho, o sounds crazy sa iba, do sweet little things for the one you love kahit magmukha ka ng timang. The memories will be fun to recall later in life. The corniest song o gift o letter ang laging kabog!

True love brings out the best in each other. Find something good in your boyfriend and nurture it, encourage it and syempre, ENJOY it.

It’s healthy to fight. Doon nyo lang maaayos ang mga differences nyo at natetest ang tatag ng relationship. Doon mo rin sya makikilala ng mabuti. It’s called test of fire. Di mahalaga how madalas you fight. What matters is how often you make bati.
Mas nakakatakot yung relasyong sobrang perfect at laging masaya. One big fight and that’s it! And diba mas kilig yung malambing na… “uy, bati na tayo…”.

But don’t overdo it. Kakapagod naman din na lagi na lang manuyo o magsori. Choose the battles na papatulan mo. The little issues, palampasin na. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Daraan sa iba’t-ibang stages ang love especially pag matagal na kayo. Grow with it. Don’t expect him to be like nung una. ‘Coz like a student, di na ituturo sa grade 6 yung lessons na pang-grade 2. Change WILL happen… you both will change and your love WILL change too. It’s up to you na lang if the change will be for the better or for the worse. Life is about growth. Grow with it.
When break up comes and it’s time to say goodbye, don’t doubt the love just because it didn’t last. May mga bagay sa buhay na di man nagtatagal, it doesn’t mean di na ito totoo. Some good things are just never meant to last forever. Okay lang yon. Bless the parting and move on.

Expect tears, sorrow, sleepless nights and pain. Ika nga “it’s when you hurt the worse that you love the MOST.” Kung di ka willing masaktan, wag ka na lang magmahal.

Life is a balance. And love is both holding on and letting go. Know when to fight for your man and when to let him go. God will guide you kung anong dapat gawin sa kung anong sitwasyon. So dapat mataas ang signal ng langit sa cellfone ng puso mo to know His wisdom.

Baduy pero astig diba, mga friends yan ang totoo, anyway sana nagustuhan nyo ang mga sinabi!

Tamaan na ang dapat tamaan. Lol!

Thanks Weng!

As I surf the super highway, I came across one of my post before. I don’t remember where I got it from or if I made it. If someone owns this let me know so that I can give you the credit.

Anyway, as I read the post, I remembered how was I in those days where I eagerly seek for someone to love and love me back as well. Where I can’t stop looking for someone that I will spend my entire life with. Where I spent so much time and money just to make myself look cool and make me a great catch. I was young. I was full of boiling hormones eager to catch up to the times where having a girl defines you as a real man because you chose to first finish your studies until college. I remembered the days of hurts, declines, and constant shattering of emotions. I remembered how I willingly agreed to be a rebound, how I was being played around, and how I willingly submit myself to be an idiot just because of that four-letter-word – LOVE.

Hindi ba nakakalungkot isipin, na mahal na mahal mo ang isang tao pero alam mo sa isip at puso mo na hindi ka naman niya mahal?

Pilit mong pinagtatangol sa isipan mo na mamahalin ka rin ng taong ‘yun. Pero hindi man lang dumarating ‘yung point na sasabihin niya sa harapan mo na mahal ka rin niya.

Naghintay ka ng matagal…buwan…taon….para mahalin ka rin niya. Nagsakripisyo ka para lang kahit papaano magkaroon siya ng idea na lahat ng ginagawa mo para sa kanya….para lang ibigin ka rin niya…

‘Pag tinatanong ka ng ibang tao, ang sarap sarap sabihin na, “oo, mahal ko siya at mahal rin niya ako”, pero sa loob loob mo, ang sakit isipin na niloloko mo lang ang sarili mo sa pagsasabi na mahal ka niya. 

Mahirap ipagtanggol ‘yung nadarama mo kung sa sarili mo alam mo na wala ka naman talagang pinagtatangol!

Kaya tuloy nagtatanong ka…niloloko ko lang ba ang sarili ko? O patuloy akong maghihintay…

….na ako naman ang mamahalin niya?

Photo by Andrew Jalili